I don’t know what happened in January (well, I do, and I’m gonna explain it) but I suddenly became myself again. This was actually a really significant event because I have been dealing with frequent crises for the past three years, alongside the normal crises (graduating, going to college, transferring, changing my diet, selling my clothes on the internet). So I’ve ~finally~ started loving the things I’ve always claimed to like. Or, in a better manner of saying that, I started doing things I used to do as a child or early on in high school before I got distracted (by boys, by being employed, I could go on, but mostly boys). And you know why? Not to deter the few who do not believe in astrology, but SATURN CHANGED SIGNS. Click on that link to learn more from my god, CafeAstrology.
To go off on a tangent, basically Saturn changes signs just about every three years. Last time Saturn changed signs, it was to Sagittarius in December 2014. I didn’t know about the magic of Saturn then, but I can clearly see its effects in my life. I was getting bored in my stagnant relationship, and he was getting controlling. All I wanted to do was have fun. I made a new friend that had the kind of fun I wanted to have. I also realized that everyone in high school didn’t hate me and that I could make friends. So I broke up with him and had that SAGITTARIUS fun, I hooked up with different guys and went to parties and drank and smoked and acted SAGITTARIUSLY. I took more risks and did random stuff no one else would think to do, like being manager of the fencing team, performing in front of my entire high school the first day of senior year, painting on the courtyard walls, and bought multiple impulse plane tickets. Very Sag of me to travel so much during these years!
While that was (literally) all fun and games, when I got to college I realized that I should probably get to know myself better. But I had no idea! I was too busy having ~fun~ and being ~free~. Which is definitely a part of who I am, but not all of it. I had no idea how I wanted to dress, what classes I wanted to take, and how I wanted people to see me as a person. When Saturn moved into Capricorn, I watched a video about it and realized I was listening to music I adored when I was sixteen and talking to people I was close with when I was sixteen. It was spooky as fuck. And, without me even trying, I figured out my whole life. I think so, at least. So, here’s how it’s been so far. (Also, if you’re interested, here’s the video that changed my life!)
- Call Me By Your Name DESERVES ALL OF ITS HYPE. First of all, I literally CALLED IT that ultramarine blue would make a comeback in society. Second of all, it was so god damn beautiful. I love Northern Italy. My Italian professor last semester was from Florence and he just encouraged me to follow my Northern Italian dreams. We also ended the class by collectively enjoying prosciutto and melon. I can’t wait to move to Italy and own a lemon grove and only play this album 24/7. I’m also reading the book, which I recommend but it’s just a tad sexual; nothing I have a problem with, just a warning. Anyway, if anyone reading this wants to see it, I am unemployed and free on weekends.
- I saw it in December, but I need to put it out there that Lady Bird exists. And I’m so glad it does! Thanks for going with me Amanda and Sophie. The soundtrack is bomb too. I feel personally attacked by that movie. To quote Wyatt: “Have you seen Lady Bird yet… It’s literally just you.”
- Cadbury Mini Eggs are now at your local CVS. It’s maybe just a tad early for that. Easter is April 1st. I know that because I am now two types of Christian. I got confirmed to the Congregational church earlier this month if anyone wanted to know. Sorry, Martin Luther, but I’m going to hop between sects of faith. If I’m not Catholic, what will the boys in Northern Italy think of me? And I lowkey miss the stale bread.
- Actually, my new religion is mixing Buzz and Trick from the Naked 3 palette. I’ve been really getting orange and pink vibes from January. See the Instagram post captioned “never deserting my pillow pet again in 2018” on my account which is @mainacarey but also @onethousandlemons!
- A book that everyone has told you to read: Just Kids by Patti Smith. It was good! It really brought back those #mems from when I was obsessed with the 1960s. High key cried when Jim Morrison died. I just ordered M Train which I am highly anticipating.
- French accents + doing makeup perfectly with your fingers and a Q tip + cool camera angles = the best makeup tutorials of all time. This girl is the global beauty director for Estee Lauder and she is SO COOL. Watch her videos here; her name is Violette. And follow @v93oo if you like bright colors.
- The one marriage setup in life I wish happened to me.
- I finally have a coherent taste in men! It involves curly hair. Obviously, TimotheEe Chssmmsmtlet is one of them because of course. A more ~underground~ man I adore is Avery Ginsberg. But he has a girlfriend who I have coincidentally watched on YouTube since 7th grade! I also watched the move Can’t Buy Me Love this month and Patrick Dempsey with curly hair is an 11/10.
- Obama!!!! transferred colleges and he is still alive. And got to be president. So I could be president even though fuck that. Read all about it here!
- My true calling lies in beginning my sunglasses collection. Right now I am at a standstill in my sunglass-collecting, but I am hoping to have a renaissance soon. Especially since I already decided how I’m going to be dressing this summer… and started kinda sorta shopping for it. I have an issue.
- The Old Lyme Inn has a great selection of sandwiches. Just thought everyone should know, even though I’ve been telling literally everyone. I don’t even care that they didn’t update their menu for the winter season. Their fall stuff is bomb and I forgot how much I love fall comfort food. Think overbearing Thanksgiving vibes, the best ones, and root vegetables.
- If you think you had it bad, think of something worse, and prepare yourself. This could go for anything. I don’t suggest being negative about life, but all I’m saying is to prepare for the worst. Yes, I had another horrible roommate. Yes, I’m moving now. Yes, I ordered two new art prints on Amazon as a pat on the back for not flipping the fuck out at anyone I share a bathroom with. Also, finish your meningitis shot because it will handicap you.
- Over break, Amanda and I were watching Chopped, a normal routine. But then we happened upon an episode of The Great British Baking Show, and found this lovely human being, Ruby Tandoh, but most importantly her print-making and art Instagram, @rubyst. She’s so cool, she is gay and bakes and loves One Direction.
- Owning rain boots has added approximately 6 years to my life. What was I doing before I owned them? Why was I wearing sneakers in the rain? Why did I enjoy getting my socks wet? So many mistakes were made in not ordering them sooner.
- Oceans V2 by Felly ~ I found this through a Margot Lee vlog, because where else do you find the chill vibes. I don’t like Felly or his weird brand of a kid with long hair possibly from Texas who sings about pointless stuff and weed, but this song IS chill vibes. Perfect for a morning you don’t want to be awake but want to romanticize your morning anyway.
- Pink + White by Frank Ocean ~ I go through breaks with Frank Ocean. I think the last time I listened to Blond was February of last year, and I wasn’t all that into it. I would listen to it before going to bed. But now I have fully immersed myself in Blond and I am happy to report that I am in love! Especially this song.
- SWEET by BROCKHAMPTON ~ I will admit that I am late to the party with BROCKHAMPTON. I listened to them half-heartedly last semester but now I think I finally get it. I’m working on exploring the breadth of their music but this song is funky as fuck. I wish people would pregame to this song at UConn because they probably do at UVM because it’s UVM.
- The album Swimming by French Kicks ~ I’ve always, always raved about Sex Tourists, but now I finally understand that their entire album is a really snowy winter day and a hazy summer day at the same time. I am such a fan. Good to put on in the background of an emotional bus ride or homework.
- After the Storm by Kali Uchis ft. Tyler the Creator ~ I would love to know what the producer of this song was thinking while he created this song. It reminds me of mango smoothies, a clear, no-humidity day in August, a really refreshing glass of water, and the perfect pair of sunglasses. Such good vibes. 10/10 release.
- Lover is a Day by Cuco ~ I love this genre of like techno emo rapping-talking vague Tame Impala vibes shit. It sounds like I just described Twenty One Pilots but I didn’t. Whoever this kid is is on a whole other emo level. But I feel him and his almost eight minute song. He says some real shit. “Will you love this part of me?” I’m wondering too.
- Road to Nowhere and And She Was by Talking Heads ~~ Road to Nowhere is one of those songs that you play as you dramatically make an exit, but it’s kind of corny and has mild Broadway vibes, which is why it makes you laugh too. Save that seriousness for Tiny Dancer. And She Was is just a good 80s jam, which I’m always in the mood for if we’re being honest. Talking Heads, while being my freshman year English teacher’s favorite band, is also one of mine. Thanks, Julie. Cultural nod to the Talking Heads shirt in Call Me By Your Name.
- Elephant Gun by Beirut ~ I’m experiencing another renaissance in the form of Beirut’s music. But literally where else can you get Eastern European AND Western European AND Northern African vibes from a piece of music written in English? I just really appreciate a good brass setup. If you do anything today, check out this band and just think about art museums and being born in the 1700s and wearing, like, a petticoat or something.
- Viva la Vida by Coldplay ~ I’m really stressed out while writing this and I didn’t listen to it that much over this month, but I thought I would include it as a stress reliever. Something about it, maybe that I used to sing it in the shower every day for probably seven years, is just calming and familiar and beautiful. Cue me singing “IhearjERusalembells-a-ringin, Romancavalrychoooooirsasinging” under my breath until I fix my sleeping schedule.