And Now, I Finally Publicly Admit That My Nose Was Too Big For My Face in 2010

As me and all my friends edge closer to 20, I want to properly mourn the last decade of our lives.

I remember turning 10. It was the end of fourth grade, and our class pet, a hermit crab, had died overnight. We were sad. We still had my cupcakes though. It was a Thursday.  I doubt that turning 20 feels as important as 10 did, but still, like I said before, we are all going to be different people because now we’re going to be old.

It’s coincidental that I thought of this article idea the night before Man Repeller posted this article, but maybe it’s not because I’m convinced that blog/Leandra Medine is a vision I had in an astral projection I construed a long time ago.

But yeah! This is basically just an ode, but also a calling to full-on revive, every aspect of yourself that you have feared yet simultaneously loved over the past ten years. I think it will be fun.

Like, will you bring back the overnight braid, also known the cheap (wo)man’s crimper? The ones that were supposed to come out like this but ended up looking like an even greasier version of this? Or maybe it will be long layers with a hint of ~scene~ bangs, as seen in 2009 from Shailene Woodley? Or will it be something more recent, like shitty multicolored ombre or, my favorite, dying your hair with Kool-Aid? Was that just me? Possibly.

I also want to bring back aspects of culture SO bad. I miss soft-grunge so much. I miss the upside-down crosses complete with light Satanic undertones, those #teenagerposts on tumblr (which, I have a theory on why those were so popular- that we were just all discovering the commonality of the human experience in an incredibly obnoxious way, complete with poor font choices), and Take Care (Deluxe Album Version) by Drake, which I never really stopped listening to in the first place? Or maybe it will be a bit more ~advanced~, a little more mid-2010s, and you bring back Arctic Monkeys lyrics juxtaposed against pictures with horrible lighting, trying to own every LUSH product in the entire universe, maybe even a little Squaready on your Instagram? Ah, the simpler days, when people used to edit their photos AFTER putting it in Squaready and gave me chronic headaches.

It’s easy to erase all of the horrible times of being a teenager and remember the highlight reel, but I also think it wouldn’t be honoring our past selves without reflecting on all the depressing things that we thought made our lives so mundane. Mine was sitting in the library across from my high school for hours until my mom picked me up. All I wanted to do was go home and sleep. It was also when the lock was stolen on my locker twice the first month of freshman year, or maybe asking my friend to ask a guy to hook up with me at a birthday party the summer before 8th grade and getting curved and realizing I did it only because of peer pressure. Or maybe it was my entire love life and my gross choices! I don’t know. Pick your favorite mistake and laugh but also be thankful that now all you have to worry about is whether you want to get married or something and paying taxes. I think that’s better than accidentally shaving your eyebrow off because someone told you you had a unibrow in Spanish class.

On a lighter note, think of that pesty body part you’ve finally grown into. Mine is my nose. It was always so big. In seventh grade a kid told me it was too big for my face and I started crying. My mom told me it wasn’t true. But guess what? I look back on old photos, and it was too goddamn big for my face. Now it’s perfect! And has way more blackheads. But such is life.

Shout out to the past ten years for formulating all of us, you were brutal but necessary. Maybe none of us will tear our ACL, get hives from shaving our upper lip, or get tempura paint from art class on our new shoes in the next ten years, but I bet it will be just as messy and ugly. But in a good way, of course. We know more now. We know we’re gluten intolerant, allergic to strawberries, or dyslexic now; we know that we would maybe hate to live in Florida, or statistics is the bane of our existence, and we might always sleep late on the weekends even when we want to get shit done. I think it’s cool that we know ourselves more now. But things were cool when you didn’t know. Your old self is really funny and interesting (in a good way), no matter what you think, because she was trying. And you even have stuff in common, I bet. I still listen to Frank Ocean when I’m depressed just like I did in 2012, and I still eat pizza upside down like I did in 2005, and I can’t let go of my side part I got in 2011.

Here’s a photo of me liking coffee just to prove that I hate coffee now and ~people evolve within the confines of their projected personality~, also wearing neon orange lipstick to prove that we all make mistakes…

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My November is ~right now~

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November is the pre-game to cold winter months. You experience snow, rain, sunshine, gray days, blue days, extreme wind, and humidity all in one. It’s the one month that is guaranteed to be a toss up besides the entirety of spring (fuck spring). Since I like this month and am feeling particularly cultured, here are some things that fucked me up in a good way. (LMK if you know the song the title references, so #trendy)

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  • Man Repeller is amazing. I had heard of Leandra Medine from Teen Vogue back in the day and even more so on Wanelo, back when I was a real ~social influencer~ (I want to write about that sometime soon; to be honest, that was my golden period). I’ve really been investing time in finding new blogs to read and Man Repeller is exactly what I needed. It celebrates the weird and the basic, which is something I try to accomplish in my daily life. It also has great advice for the future, because most of the writers are in their late 20’s. Best enjoyed with a hot bowl of soup and a bag of kettle chips.
  • I am really late to the pale pink and rose gold game. It’s recently been the only color I will wear besides denim and black. I also got a rose gold phone. But more importantly I got a rose gold faux fur jacket with faux suede.
  • Cooper Hewitt is a very swag museum (watch out for a research-based article about the “swag” renaissance) that I went to over Thanksgiving break. I have been delving more into my fashion side, as we saw a few posts ago, and figuring out what I like and do not like. It was a little bit of a spiritual journey and a very cool place to be.
  • Animal Crossing is back in the form of a very addicting app. My one quirky fact about myself is the fact I was a 12-year-old admin of the Animal Crossing Wikia.
  • A company on Amazon makes plus-size tube topsFuck the fashion industry because I am not plus-size yet I am buying plus-size items because the fashion industry HATES BIG BOOBS (POST ABOUT THAT COMING SOON) BUT IT’S REALLY COOL BECAUSE NOW I CAN WEAR THOSE KIND OF SHIRTS.
  • Filter I love: D1 on VSCO. It’s the one that makes everything purply and pink. That is my aesthetic for November and also for life.
  • I have started a sunglasses collection, and I have not looked back.

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  • The save feature on Instagram is like creating your own mood board and not as creepy as I thought it was. It’s the digital equivalent to taking a stranger’s photos and hanging them on your wall (which I also do, but I feel like if it was actual people’s Instagrams that would be strange).
  • “If you miss a beat, create another.” – Patti Smith, “Just Kids”
  • Watching people online shop in class is a form of gathering material and inspiration. It’s also aesthetically pleasing and I get inspired just looking at how other people organize their laptop space. Weird.
  • Studying abroad in America is possible! My dreams really did come true. A trip I can fund myself. What a concept.
  • You can hit someone with a backpack by accident walking in Times Square and they will get mad and call you names. Even though it’s Times Square. My inner thought was “I’m sorry that I’m a woman taking up space.”
  • Take Care will always be the best album of all time, and nothing can change that, absolutely nothing.
  • No matter how much you’ll tell yourself you’ll take videos for a montage, you will not. I need to tattoo “PRODUCE CONTENT” on my forehead or something.
  • If you needed another reason to love Playboi CartiSo proud of him.

 

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  • waves – Tame Impala remix by Miguel ~ Literally just so cohesive and smooth. It feels like a burst of color. The people of Tame Impala (it really can’t be just Kevin, can it?) are BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE.
  • Yung Gravity by Yung Gravy ~ Whenever I hear the beginning I want to cringe so hard, but it’s really catchy. “Yung gravity, I pull your bitch.” It’s a joke. I totally get it. I overheard this in the New World Tortilla line at like 4:58 p.m. on a Thursday. Also, his voice is really familiar sounding to me, maybe I know him.
  • Powerlines and List of People (To Try and Forget About) by Tame Impala ~ I think I really cemented this calendar year of 2017 as the year I came to accept Tame Impala as my true favorite artist. Their surprise drop of Currents’ B-Sides on Spotify was truly the cherry on top.
  • Sure Thing (Andrey Azizov Remix) by Miguel and I Fall Apart (Andrey Azizov Remix) by Post Malone ~~ Andrey Azizov is arguably one of the best artists on Soundcloud; his remixes are really crisp and glittery and high-energy in a way that doesn’t make you feel like you’re covered in sweat at an EDM festival.
  • Shuggie and San Francisco by Foxygen ~~ There’s a light holiday mood in both of these Foxygen songs, which is why I think I like them so much. But I also like dramatically singing “BUT YOU DON’T LOVE ME, THAT’S NEWS TO ME, THAT’S NEWS TO MEEEEE” in my car alone driving while bitter once again.
  • Dance for You by Dirty Projectors ~ I feel like this song would be at the end of a crucial scene in Gossip Girl, maybe where Blair kisses Dan (which I hated, but loved the song in the scene!). I love finding gems that Rory and Riley introduce me to, because now whenever I listen to it I think about them and how much I adore both of them. This song will pull me through to Christmas break, accompanying late night walks home from the library.
  • Affection by Cigarettes After Sex ~ Two people I work with are in love with each other and conveniently dating and the girl in the relationship plays this at work a lot. It was one of my November songs last year so it’s fitting! It’s depressing, yet warm and all about love.
  • The Weekend by SZA ~ I’m getting into more of CNTRL at the current moment but this song is quite the jam. I love this girl, what a great girl. Empowering. Beautiful voice. Makes me feel like men are interested in me.
  • Prayers Up by Calvin Harris, Travis Scott, and A-Trak ~ I am for some reason just always going to get behind Travis Scott and his high-pitched adlibs. This song is no exception. The wavy and piano-driven beat has been my month’s aesthetic.
  • Blue Cheese by 2 Chainz and Migos ~ The song of the month! The song of the season! The song of the year! (Goldlink should win that Grammy though.) I have been obsessed with this song and Pretty Girls Like Trap Music way much later than cool people who listened to this when it first came out but it’s fine. If there is one song I listen to every day it is THIS ONE! (Honorable mention: 4 AM)