That’s the setup for today, ladies. I just cracked open a nice cup of locally produced maple yogurt and I am ready to get back at it.
I have been meaning to get back into OTL for a while now. During the summer, since there is no schedule that makes me want to procrastinate and hate my life, I generally don’t make time to blog. But now that I have ample amounts of time I can convince myself to waste, I have big plans.
Well, I had big plans. Considering my entire life plan didn’t work out and I am not a transfer student at any of the ten schools I stalked mercilessly during the entirety of last year, I am back in BVT. I saved up a bunch of money and came here with the intention of making the year way better than freshman year, but I have no idea how to accomplish this.
I joined a few new clubs and have been enjoying those a lot, and I’m involved in the officer committee of one. I like joining clubs and stuff like that because a lot of times I find myself super anxious towards the end of the day and have no idea what to do during that weird few hours between when you stop doing homework for a little while and dinnertime. I’m burnt out but simultaneously really scared because I feel like I should be filling my time with something other than sleep- that’s where either reading a book as a form of escapism or my club meetings come into play.
I was also super hell bent on joining a sorority. I feel like I am close to the idea of a perfect candidate for a sorority and many people have echoed this sentiment to me. I love large groups of women, Instagram captions, and buying new clothes. I genuinely love community service and cry out of happiness during most of it. But I just want to know why it’s so damn expensive. It would be literally the perfect thing for me to fill my time with and yes I can afford it this time but I would rather travel and be able to live my slightly expensive lifestyle with my money, honestly. This is probably one of the bigger internal conflicts I’ve ever had and also the most elaborate pro-con list I’ve ever made in my life (I would post it but it’s all of my inner thoughts in one and I’m just not ready for that kind of exposure yet). But I can finally clear my mind and say that I’m not going to use my hard-earned dollars for that. But don’t get me wrong, when I see cute formal pictures and bid day videos, my heart is going to break a little and I will wish that my financial situation accounted for that expense, because it’s so worth it to be that cute and have that much fun.
If anyone is wondering, my slightly expensive lifestyle accounts for coconut shavings in my oatmeal, the biweekly visit to the Urban Outfitters clearance section, Megabus tickets, buying used books on Amazon, and the current half-off sale at the North Face. Also, you can get your bottom dollar I’m going to D.C. this year; it just can’t not happen. It’s going to be a semesterly tradition ladies.
I am also entertaining a few other ideas this year: I really either need to stop my Youtube addiction or become a Youtuber myself, I want to live in a city and have an internship and a few jobs during the summer, and I want to publish a book. These are all things I have been telling myself I probably shouldn’t do for one reason or another.
I want to make a Youtube channel because it would be the culmination of my life obsession. I have been watching Youtube regularly since I discovered that the sound of people speaking in different accents puts me to sleep when nothing else does. I found this one woman named Amy who knows how to speak in literally any accent possible back in seventh or eighth grade, and ever since then I’ve somehow transformed that regular habit of Youtube into many phases that have heavily informed my life choices. I even applied to a college back in senior year because freshman year I watched a girl who went to that college and it seemed fun. I’ve watched a lot of random girls grow up and go to college and get cool jobs and it’s so weird but also kind of nice that I can do that. I want to write more about that and how watching Youtube is kind of a private thing that’s stigmatized but also a thing that we know we all do.
I want to move to a city and get an internship and a few jobs because I’m tired of cities being my destination for a trip, not my home. I want to finally live in one already. I also want to feel like my degree is going to get me a job and not just teach me about Socrates and anarchism for no reason. I want to have a gross, small apartment with posters as decorations instead of actual picture frames on a wall and only eat grapes for breakfast. I want to be poor with a purpose. Sounds weird but hopefully you can get what I mean. I also want to work as a barista somewhere because I feel like being a barista should be part of who I am and I want to randomly know how to make drinks when I bring people over my house so they think I’m cultured. But who knows, because at the same time I want my beach and my backroads and quiet farmers markets and Ashlawn Farm Coffee. How do you know when to leave your hometown?! Is there ever a right time? Let me know.
This might make me seem ~secretive~ and ~elusive~ which are two things I know I will never be, but I’ve been writing a book since last November. I wrote a few books when I was younger, mostly in middle school. It doesn’t seem like some big daunting project, but it’s always in the back of my mind. I’ll be doing something completely related to my linguistics class and get this lightbulb in my head about what’s supposed to happen to which character and have to stop everything and flesh it out. It’s really annoying sometimes because I feel like my book is pointless and should not take place over my academics but I don’t know, I can’t help it. And I don’t want anyone to read it necessarily because I’ve only ever told one of Michael’s college friends about it so literally no one knows about it and also I can’t write anything that isn’t extremely personal. Everyone knows I’m a little bit of a stalker and I’m super good at it so this book has my stalkerish personality written (literally) all over it. I’m just super interested in the girl social media culture we all live in and class divides and stuff like that so it’s about that. I want to finish it in the coming year and maybe do something about it. But out of all of these it’s the least likely to come to fruition, which is saying a lot over the summer internship thing.
I hope that satisfied the three girls that read this blog (hello ladies). Tell all your friends about this please. I’m ready to be known. I want my life to be broadcast over the internet. Hi, I’m Maina, and because I grew up in a small town and have a lot of freckles I think I’m special, and I can’t give it up. Welcome.