Plane Playlist

I absolutely love flying. I love turbulence. I love the pit in your stomach when it happens because it feels like a rollercoaster. The only time I feel that pit in my stomach is on a plane, with the exception of one time when I rode the Hulk rollercoaster at Universal Studios in Orlando as the sun was setting. I love how you’re situated with a bunch of strangers who need to get to the same place you do for different reasons. It’s so interesting, because so many people see flying as a risk but it is something we often do alone.

Departure

The Moment – Tame Impala “And I can’t just spend my whole lifetime wondering / I fell in love with the sound of my heels on the wooden floor / I don’t want our footsteps to be silent anymore”

Tennis Court – Lorde “Pretty soon I’ll be getting on my first plane / I’ll see the veins of my city like they do in space”

Super Rich Kids – Frank Ocean The beat of this song is enticing in a way that a lot of songs aren’t. It’s suspenseful and tells a subtle story between the descriptors.

Walking On a Dream – Empire of the Sun “We are always running for the thrill of it, thrill of it / Always pushing up the hill, searching for the thrill of it / On and on and on we are calling out and out again / Never looking down, I’m just in awe of what’s in front of me”

Resonance – Home One of the most magical songs in existence, if not the most magical.

Paper Planes – M.I.A. “Sometimes I think sitting on trains / Every stop I get to I’m clocking that game”

Leaving on a Jet Plane – John Denver “‘Cause I’m leaving, on a jet plane / Don’t know if I’ll be back again / Oh babe, I hate to go”

I Follow Rivers (The Magician Remix) – Lykke Li “You’re my river running high / Run deep, run wild”

Out of My League – Fitz & the Tantrums This is one of my all-time favorite songs and makes me happy no matter what. Listening to it while watching clouds fall below you on an airplane is bliss.

Arrival

Morocco – Moon Taxi “So sick and tired of the pouring rain / I took a train to Morocco just to take away the pain / Oh, it might help a little, it might help a lot / I don’t know but it’s all I got”

Flashing Lights – Kanye West “Like a flight with no Visa / First class with the seat back I still see ya”

A Head Full of Dreams – Coldplay “Oh, I think I’ve landed / In a world I haven’t seen” “Oh, I think I’ve landed / Where there are miracles at work”

Giving Up The Gun – Vampire Weekend “And though it’s been a long time / You’re right back where you started from” “I see you shine in your way / Go on, go on, go on”

Something Good Can Work (RAC Remix) – Two Door Cinema Club “Let’s make this happen, girl / You gotta show the world that something good can work / And it can work for you / And you know that it will / Let’s get this started, girl / We’re moving up, we’re moving up / It’s been a lot to change / But you will always get what you want”

Magnets (A-Trak Remix) – Lorde “I love this secret language that we’re speaking / Say it to me, let’s embrace the point of no return / Let’s embrace the point of no return / Let’s embrace the point of no return”

Champion – Kanye West, The Glory – Kanye West, Homecoming – Kanye West featuring Chris Martin Everything about the album Graduation is perfect, but these three besides Flashing Lights (above) are my favorites. I love listening to them when I travel because they’re fun and upbeat.

 

Monday Monday

Finals. It’s under thirty eight degrees the rest of the week. My coffee cups are stained and the brims are salted with natural sugar, my lipstick is smudging on the edge of my forks and spoons and traveling to my chin. Two a.m. showers are becoming more frequent and I am writing more in the margins of my calculus notes than ever before.

Wanderer Wandering – Slow Club

17 – Youth Lagoon

Nothing’s Gonna Hurt You Baby – Cigarettes After Sex

This Must Be the Place – Talking Heads

These Days – Nico

Cherry – Chromatics

Rosa – Grimes

I Want to See the Bright Lights Tonight – Richard  and Linda Thompson

I Need Fun in My Life – The Drums

You Make Me Wanna Die – The Shivas

Wall Fuck – Flume

This is a song

Heavy metal drummer – Wilco

Playing With Fire – Nick Leng

Lust for Life – Girls

California Stars (Live) – Wilco

The Russian house smells like really cheap perfume, strawberry vape, and cigarettes. It’s starting to seep into my clothing. My roommate cleaned the sink over break. I forgot how nice it was to go to bed completely clean, slicked down in coconut oil in a big t-shirt. I’m feeling more and more like I can do it. I eat cereal in my Dave’s Coffee mug with almond milk I should probably refrigerate.

This doesn’t feel final like the tests suggest. This feels like a transition. The card deck is shuffling. The boy in my spanish class seems more like a dream every day I don’t try to talk to him. He goes off to a dining hall and I stop to buy pita bread and coffee downstairs before I go to my last chem lab. He is from my favorite city, he listens to Mac Demarco. His jacket is the same as Wyatt’s in a more cobalt blue than Michael’s. Sometimes I stop back in my room to put on eyeliner, to wash my hands, just to make sure that if he ever wants to talk to me my eyes aren’t so small and my hands show no signs of an inked home countdown.

Today I opened a can of chickpeas with a screwdriver and accidentally poured corrosive acid on my fresh papercut. Everything is grey and dark and feels like a saltwater pool. My lipstick shed onto my spoons and coffee cups and cheese block. Sixteen more days. But it’s not so bad.

 

 

What Vermont Sounds Like in September, Featuring My Only Talent

Honey, sunshine, apples, misty mornings and sweltering afternoons, colorful pens, picnic blankets. Laying on a huge outcropping of rock feeling the breeze blow by you, but still soaking up the last of the sunlight before it disappears behind the trees. Eyes closed. Adjustment. Peanut butter and banana toast. COFFEE. Walking around a city when it’s kind of empty and the sunlight is fading. A cold beach day.img_4273

A lot of people think writing can describe everything. And I can attest to that, to an extent. But language, as much as I am fascinated by it, is so limiting. Only the best writers can evoke feelings unable to be described. But musicians can, sometimes even without words. Any musician, with a heart and capacity to breathe. Making playlists for me is a form of organizing my emotions, like a creative vessel of therapy. It also creates an escape- I can go back to this space, this September, and recall what I was feeling, what my world looked like, smells and images. I remember what it felt like to be me at a given point in time.

I figure most people do not understand why music does this for me. Growing up has just been me being shocked time and again that people do not think the same way as me. Part of me wants to believe that everyone has music on repeat in their head. And when people ask me how I manage to remember 97% of song lyrics from everything I’ve ever heard, I don’t know what to tell them. My mind absorbs this kind of information. And it kind of feels stupid, like I should have a better talent. My only truly, naturally successful job path in life is to be one of those people that picks songs for movies. And even then, there’s a lot of corporate debate in that. But maybe I would like that? I don’t know.

Until then, I’ll just keep blending sounds together to make them vaguely resemble a place in time. Some people are really good at keeping diaries. Mine are playlists.

And compliments like “you just played the perfect music for that car ride,” or “your Soundcloud playlist is fire,” will always unintentionally speak to that place inside me that knows that this talent is special. And “that mixtape you made me was amazing, can you make me another?” – that is a question I will never tire of hearing.

 

 

 

 

Songs for Staring Out Metro North Train Windows From A Window Seat Person

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I love trains. I will always talk about them to anyone who will listen. I love claiming my little corner of the world (the window seat) and watching the landscape of the shoreline as it turns into one tumultuous timelapse before me. I love people watching; the mothers who take their kids to the city for the day (especially the ones who loudly Facetime their spouses the entire ride), couples on dates, engaging in quiet conversation and sometimes eating Goldfish, Greenwich dads in tailored suits reading emails on their Macbooks. I have a ritual: I drink a small Dunkin Donuts caramel swirl latte from Union Station if last night’s sleep calls for it and put my North Face backpack between my freshly shaven legs, then set out to make the perfect playlist for my favorite journey of all time. I have curated four playlists based on moods I am usually in on the rides to and from. Get some earbuds, put your hair up, slide right on Snapchat to collect some geotags, eat a bagel or something and enjoy. Also, make sure, at least once in your life, to skip school and go to Manhattan. Rory Gilmore did it, and so can you.

Passive Aggressive

For when it’s raining and you’re angry about all the shitty boys you have kissed/you just saw something you shouldn’t have seen and wish you could unsee/you just did something very wrong you cannot undo and you are hungry and tired/you can feel your life spiraling downward and you want to presage the ruin of your short life in song

  1. The Flowers
  2. Capsized
  3. All These Things That I’ve Done
  4. Helplessness Blues
  5. 1965
  6. Anthems for a Seventeen Year Old Girl
  7. The World at Large
  8. Obsessions
  9. Sweet Disposition
  10. Yes I’m Changing

Hopeful

For when you see the sunlight through all the pretty trees in the pretty towns on-peak/you are going to meet a nice person at a nice cafe in a nice part of Manhattan/you had some nice fruit for breakfast and maybe a grilled cheese with seedy bread/your hair is freshly washed and your skin is evenly lotioned

  1. I Just Wanna Be Somebody Else
  2. East Harlem
  3. My Girls
  4. Two Weeks
  5. Unbelievers
  6. Someday
  7. My Body
  8. Ice Melts
  9. Walking On A Dream
  10. Deadbeat Summer

Reflectively Nostalgic

For the train ride back, when your car is slowly emptying by the time you reach New Haven/you just went and saw some cool art and you realized that people lived thousands of years ago and made their own bread and didn’t have cars/you realize that soon you will be 19 or 29 or 47 and almost dead and this might even be your last train ride to Manhattan/you are a sensitive fern

  1. Us
  2. Feel It All Around
  3. Resonance
  4. Yellow
  5. Angel from Montgomery
  6. Long Way From Home
  7. Swingin’ Party
  8. Sleepyhead (octbr flip)
  9. Closer To Me
  10. Lose It

It Is Early Morning I Want Coffee

For when you don’t even want to think about making a playlist/your jacket is making you sweat and you can tell you will be carrying it around all day/you forgot to put on mascara or deodorant and you are pissed off/you are unwrapping an everything bagel and the parchment paper crinkles

  1. Heart It Races
  2. Sleeping Ute
  3. Folding Chair
  4. Somewhere Only We Know
  5. Young Folks (also pretend you’re Serena Van Der Woodsen, returning from boarding school Labor Day weekend in New York City)
  6. We’re Not Just Friends
  7. Wait Up (Boots of Danger)
  8. Valerie (Mark Ronson Version)
  9. Go Outside
  10. Postcards from Italy